Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Security Blanket
6.26.25 Grief is such a strange companion — familiar, unwelcome, persistent. I’ve lived with it for so long, in so many forms, that it feels woven into my DNA. But today, I’m acknowledging something important: even though grief may stay, it doesn’t have to direct. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting what mattered. It means releasing
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I Wanted to Run Away Today
6.25.25 I can’t remember the last time I didn’t want to come home. But today, while I was at the office, I checked my personal email and saw a delivery notification. The sender’s name stopped me cold—it was the package with keepsakes made from Tyson’s mane and tail. One for Kendall, one for me. We
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Willingness and Friendship
6.24.25 Just like that, I put in the work and finished steps six and seven with my sponsor. Progress feels good. I’m so grateful to have such an amazing sponsor—someone who’s not only helped guide me but has also become a true friend. I was skeptical at first about getting a sponsor. I’ve always had
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The Illusion of Safe Spaces
6.23.25 Tonight, I was scrolling through the book of faces and came across a post in the alumni group that bothered me. An alumi was reminding others to be kind and not judge—apparently in response to a private message one of her friends received after posting event pictures. The message was allegedly cruel and accusatory.