Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Boredom and Balance in Sobriety
7.14.25 The topic in the meeting tonight was boredom and what to do when you’re bored to maintain your sobriety. I thought back over the last eight months, and I realized that in the beginning, everything was about routine. Just developing and sticking to a routine felt like survival. That structure was crucial to keeping…
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Nervous, Hopeful, Ready
7.13.25 Should I have gone to a meeting today? Probably. Yes. The answer is always yes to that question. But today was full, and I can see that I still did things that support my recovery. It was a busy day—dropping the sheps off at the doggy spa, then coming home to deep-clean the house…
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Earning My Own Forgiveness
7.12.25 I’ve been thinking about what AA teaches about forgiving yourself. It struck me that in the program, self-forgiveness isn’t really something I can just declare or force. It’s something that happens when I take action to live differently. When I did my Fourth Step, writing out my inventory, it was the first time I…
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No Burning Bush Required
7.11.25 I’ve come to realize I’m not waiting around for some big, spiritual moment to blow my mind. I’m not expecting a burning bush or some kind of holy thunderbolt. And honestly, I don’t need one. What I appreciate are the small miracles that come from being willing to connect with my Higher Power each…