Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Suit Up And Show Up
5.30.25 What a fantastic topic at the alumni meeting tonight. In active addiction, showing up was a chore that I despised. On the rare occasion that I showed up to a function or event sober, I was looking for the alcohol first, and then the quickest exit from the minute I walked in the door,…
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Foundation
5.27.25 One of my daily readings is Twenty-Four Hours A Day. I like that it has a thought, meditation, and prayer for the day. Most of the time, at least one of them is what I need to hear at the time. The meditation for today is about building a strong foundation. Before I could…
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Peace
5.26.25 With Kendall out of town, I wanted to take a shift cleaning out Chevy’s wound on her leg and keep her company. Actually, that’s a lie. I wanted her company. She’s a mama’s girl, and I’m a daughter’s mama. Chevy has her other mom, who leases her, the stable owner, and her staff, who…
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Am I Dead?
5.25.25 Holy fuck, my old ass body is sore! Muscles I didn’t even know that I had hurt. I don’t remember falling asleep last night; it happened so quickly. Last night was so much fun, and worth every ache I feel today. My sober tribe is not a glum lot. We know how to have…