Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • You’re Going on My 4th Step

    03.08.26 Lately I’ve been doing a lot of Fourth Step work. The whole reason for it is fear, looking honestly at the things that drive it and the ways it has shaped my thinking and behavior. It isn’t always comfortable to dig that deep, but I know it’s necessary if I want to stay spiritually

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  • Held When I Need It Most

    02.23.26 It feels like a lifetime has gone by since I wrote last. It’s been a long and emotional week, but I’ve decided to write about the most impactful part of it. Friday morning shook me in a way I didn’t see coming. I got a group text saying a close friend’s partner was in

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  • Faith Over Fear

    02.15.26 Lately I’ve been circling around a few heavy questions: Is my faith strong enough? Am I even working this program the right way? Do I have enough built up spiritually and emotionally to handle stepping outside the comfort zone I’ve worked so hard to build? It took everything in me to expand that bubble

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  • Letting Go Like I Mean It

    02.08.26 I’m making a conscious effort to actually practice the principles of this program in all my affairs. Not just fucking talk about them like a motivational poster. And shocker…when I use the tools, life feels a whole lot less like a self-inflicted emergency. This week I keep circling back to one of the biggest

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