Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Letting Go Like I Mean It
02.08.26 I’m making a conscious effort to actually practice the principles of this program in all my affairs. Not just fucking talk about them like a motivational poster. And shocker…when I use the tools, life feels a whole lot less like a self-inflicted emergency. This week I keep circling back to one of the biggest
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Why the Hell Am I Waiting to Feel Good?
02.02.26 I noticed something about myself recently that made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I have this habit of “saving” things for later. Candy, lotion, gift cards, little treats, treasures and trinkets. Because I think there will be a better time to enjoy them or because some part of me believes I
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21 Amends
01.25.26 Today cracked my heart wide open. My baby is 21, and I don’t know how that’s real. There’s joy in it, but there’s also this deep, almost aching awareness of how close I came to missing all of it. How easily this day could’ve been one I wasn’t part of. The women’s meeting this
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The Edge of Living
01.18.26 I’ve been spending way too much time in my again head lately. Circling the same thoughts. Replaying, predicting, controlling, rehearsing. Trying to make outcomes feel safer before they even exist. It’s exhausting. And shocking…it’s not working. This shows me that I need Step One. Not because I’m failing but because I’m human. Step One
