Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Thursday
5.15.25 Today has been a productive day. Some positive changes are happening at work, and I had my first one-on-one with my old/new boss to set goals. I also met with Lady J, who helped me sort out some current feelings I have been unnecessarily and unconsciously compounding with older feelings of guilt. Talking through
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The Power Of We
5.14.25 Yesterday was a great day! I was constantly reminded of how blessed and fortunate I am to have the people in my life that I do. I started the morning joking with my doctor that he’s a little late to be worrying about my liver. He laughed and sent me down the hall for
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That’s Not How That Works
5.13.25 I’m reading through what I’ve written so far for my Fourth Step and laughing because that is definitely not how that works. Fuck. I have lots of good notes, but I need to pause, talk to my sponsor, and redo this. My writing has taken me down a rabbit hole, and I need some
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First Chair
5.12.25 Yesterday ended up being such a great day that I have to write about Mother’s Day again. I was up early journaling in my happy place: the recliner, coffee, dogs sleeping, and a creepy cat lurking. I didn’t know why at the time, but I felt the need to be early for my women’s