Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Fucking Resentments

    6.10.25 Tonight was Big Book study at the women’s meeting — second Tuesday of the month. We started Chapter 9: The Family Afterward. I wasn’t prepared for how hard this one would hit. As we read, I was overwhelmed with anger and sadness, enough to make me want to leave. But I stayed. I knew

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  • Trinkets and Prizes

    6.9.25 My Higher Power has a way of balancing things out for me—especially when I slow down and really pay attention to what’s right in front of me. I’m beginning Step Six, and it’s already turning out to be more eye-opening than I expected. When I’m completely honest with myself, recognizing and listing my character

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  • Seven Months In

    6.8.25 I’ve been reflecting a lot today on the past seven months. The person who walked into rehab was completely broken—lost, afraid, overwhelmed by pain and sorrow, drowning in self-loathing and self-pity. Now, I only catch rare glimpses of that person. Mostly, what I see is growth. Mental, emotional, and spiritual growth toward the person

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  • AA Picnic at the Park

    6.7.25 I knew when I went to bed last night that I wouldn’t get much sleep. I was right. I woke up at 4 a.m., wide awake, my internal alarm making sure I had plenty of time to get my dish ready for the TVTAC picnic and cooking contest. Somehow, I even managed to get

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