1.21.25
I’ve been having mixed emotions about getting a sponsor. I was eager when I first came home from rehab because I wanted to do everything I could to maintain my sobriety by trying my best to do as I was told. After all, what do I know about being sober?
As time passed, I was having a hard time connecting with available sponsors because of scheduling or personalities and I started to feel like if it was meant to happen, it would happen. Whenever I am conflicted about something relevant topics come up in meetings. I had sent a text to a woman in my women’s meeting on Tuesday asking to speak with her about sponsoring me and we had scheduled a time to talk on the phone Sunday. I started second guessing if I was ready for a sponsor so here comes divine fucking intervention and the topic magically comes up in meetings the rest of the week. I heard the message that this early in my sobriety I only needed to be worried about showing up to meetings, education and sponsorship would come later, focus on ‘suiting up and showing up’. Then I heard a message that finding a sponsor was crucial and needed to be accomplished right away.
When we weren’t able to connect Sunday, I took it as a sign that I wasn’t ready. This morning I went to a meeting and the topic was SPONSORSHIP again! But I heard from the perspective of a sponsor and sponsee about losing one or the other. In the middle of the meeting, I received a text from the potential sponsor saying she was available, so I called her on my way home and had a great conversation. Her approach to sponsoring sounds like what I’m looking for and she was impressed with the steps I have taken to maintain sobriety.
Look at me all grown up and shit with my first sponsor!
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