Category: Journal

04.20.26 When I look back, it’s clear how much my idea of God had to change for me to even have a shot at recovery. I used to see God as the source of everything that hurt me, and that belief gave me a constant target for my anger. It kept me stuck in blame Read more

04.11.26 The topic at a meeting the other night was obsession, and it brought me back to a passage from A Vision For You in the Big Book that describes what drinking becomes for people like me. Not just a social release, but something far darker in its final stage. For most people, drinking is Read more

04.05.26 I didn’t write last weekend, and I felt a little guilty about it, but I needed a reset. Life has just been…lifey. Not bad, not falling apart, just shifting. Moving. Changing. Change used to wreck me. I’d go straight to worst-case scenario, let anxiety take over, convince myself everything was about to fall apart. Read more

03.24.26 I’ve been in a mood lately. Not loud and explosive. Just a steady, grinding irritation humming under everything. Restless, discontent, easily thrown off by things that don’t fucking matter. The kind of state AA describes perfectly. When I’m not spiritually right, I end up irritable, restless, and discontent as a baseline. There’s no major Read more