Don’t Fuck With Terentia

1.23.25

When I hear anyone talk about spirit animals or guardian animals, my first thought is ‘make believe’. Last week Lady J asked me if a situation I described made me angry. Without thinking I responded that I don’t get angry. She wanted to dig deeper into this because she likes to get inside my head, which I will never understand why, that’s DANGER. I explained my belief that being angry is a waste of time. It takes so much energy to be angry or hold a grudge against someone. I typically get my feelings hurt instead and when I’m done licking my wounds I move on. Depending on how deep the emotional cut is, I may distance myself from the person who hurt my feelings without even realizing I’m using this defense mechanism. Then I put up my invisible shield so that person can’t hurt me again

We tried to find where my anger goes; it doesn’t just disappear. I imagine a small but ferocious dragon sleeping by my feet outside my emotional shield. She occasionally opens one eye lazily to make sure all is well. I picture we are connected by a chain around our ankles. But the chain is not a heavy burden, it’s more like a lightweight lifeline to each other. Lady J said this dragon is my guardian animal and my homework for the week was to research guardian animals, name my dragon, and describe what it looks like.

Here I am 44 years old doing homework, learning about spirit animals and guardian animals. Still unsure if I think they are ‘make believe’ or part of a higher purpose. I named my dragon Terentia, Greek origin meaning guardian; it sounds powerful, and strong. I picture her as a deep shade of purple, symbolizing power and royalty. Like my invisible shield she is part of me but more like an extension. Whatever she is, don’t fuck with Terentia.