90 Days!

2.6.25

Last night was a little rough. I’m not sure why, but my addict mind was hyper-focusing on the past and what I’d lost, so I cried under my new 500-pound blanket. I heard the best advice a few years ago; my feelings are my feelings, and I’m allowed to feel them without any validation from others. I’ve also received the advice to tell yourself, “You’re gonna be just fine, Honey”, when things get tough because calling yourself honey makes you feel better (especially in a sweet southern accent). I decided to say the Serenity and Lord’s prayers too. I’m not a religious person, but the words in these two prayers are beautiful and make me feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. I stopped the pity party, self-loathing, self-despair, and self-sabotaging of the present time. I got out of bed to grab my gratitude list to remind myself of everyone and everything I am blessed and grateful to have in my life. That little piece of paper I started the list on 3 months ago made me so happy.

I woke up this morning 90 days sober, which I quickly added to my list and started my morning routine. I chose to get sober to save myself from me; I have to be selfish and stay sober for myself. I’m proud of my accomplishment. Hearing from my daughter and best friend this morning how proud of me they are meant the whole world to me. It’s an extra bonus I get from being sober that had me grinning from ear to ear. The day was great, except an upset stomach I’m really hoping doesn’t come back. Round 2 of coffee was disgusting!

Tonight, I went to a meeting with great friends, got my 90-day chip, and shared how I’ve been successful in my sobriety so far. Bring on the green for another 90!