3.8.25
Today marks 4 months sober! 4 months physically, mentally, and spiritually healthier and stronger than I was 4 months, 1 day ago when I was admitted to rehab. I hate remembering who I was because it opens a floodgate of emotions. The list could go on for pages: sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, remorse, guilt, self-pity. But I’m starting to like the reflection I see in the mirror, and I couldn’t be who I am today or the best version of myself that I am becoming without my past. Reminding myself of that makes it easier to accept my past transgressions for what they are: the past, not the present or future.
I have brave friends in recovery who look at their rehab intake picture daily; hell, some of them even have it hanging on the fridge as a daily reminder! I will never do that, but I look at mine every milestone, and I laughed this morning when I pulled out the picture because I barely recognized myself. It feels like it was so long ago, but it wasn’t. It’s a great reminder that any cravings I may experience are not worth it. To enjoy sobriety yet be cautious and not forget I am an alcoholic. I have to keep my alcohol suit of armor on at all times, even at home. It’s comforting to know that I have an army supporting me when I need them, day or night.
I’ll take another 24 hours!
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