Grief in Recovery

8.15.25

Grief has been a hot topic lately. Like many of my friends in recovery, I’m realizing there are people and events in my life that I never truly grieved. Back then, alcohol was my quick fix—it numbed the grief and kept me from facing the wave of emotions that came with it. But sobriety doesn’t shield me from grief. Life keeps on life-ing, and loss is always going to be part of it.

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning is that grief looks different for everyone. What feels healthy and healing for one person might feel overwhelming or be destructive for another. That’s why open-mindedness and compassion matter so much. I have to remind myself not to judge or condemn anyone for the way they choose to care for their emotional and spiritual well-being.

A friend of mine recently had a death in the family. It wasn’t a close relative—more of a connection through a sibling and their grown children. They don’t feel the need to attend the funeral. Another family member doesn’t understand and thinks it’s disrespectful. But my friend had already said their goodbyes, made peace with the loss, offered emotional support, and even helped handle the person’s belongings. That was their way of grieving.

And really, I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” way. Some people need to attend the funeral. Others might need to take a walk in the woods, light a candle, or just sit quietly with their emotions. What matters is that we allow ourselves to feel instead of trying to drink those feelings away. As long as I’m present with my grief, I’m honoring both the loss and my recovery.