Scared but Willing

08.31.25

I’ve been feeling this growing urge lately — the quiet nudge that it’s time to help someone else. I’ve been given so much in recovery, freely and without condition, and it feels like a natural next step to pass that along. This morning’s topic in the meeting was sponsorship, and I couldn’t help but sit in both longing and fear as people shared.

I’m scared of sponsoring. My fears are layered: What if I don’t do it right? What if I fail someone? What if she relapses and I take it personally, as if it’s my fault? I know in my head that I can’t control another person’s sobriety, but in my heart, I worry about carrying that responsibility.

Listening to everyone today gave me perspective. They reminded me that sponsorship isn’t about perfection. It’s about willingness, about showing up, about sharing my own story of recovery as honestly as I can. Sponsorship doesn’t just help the sponsee — it strengthens the sponsor. It keeps me connected, accountable, and humble.

So I did something scary and brave: I raised my hand. No one came up to me afterward, no one asked me to sponsor, but the act itself felt huge. It was like I was saying out loud to the universe and to my Higher Power, I’m willing. And maybe that’s the first real step — not waiting until I feel ready (because I may never feel ready), but saying yes anyway.

Even if no one takes me up on it yet, I know I’ve opened a door. And when the right woman needs me, I’ll be there. Not because I’ll have all the answers, but because I’ll be willing to walk beside her in the steps, the same way others have walked beside me.