12.14.25
Good morning, all you beautiful people!
I’ve been looking forward to writing all week. It feels good to be excited about it again. Last Monday I chaired my first 8 PM meeting and picked emotional sobriety as the topic in case no one else had one.
This week my sponsor and I finished Acceptance Was the Answer from the Big Book. It hit both of us so hard that we added pages 416–420 to our daily morning readings. I honestly could’ve highlighted the entire chapter. “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.” I know it sounds cliché. If you think so, I challenge you to read (or reread) that chapter. Alcohol, relationships, grief, control, fear or whatever your flavor is. If it doesn’t hit home, I’d genuinely love to hear about it. Out of curiosity. And I might check you for a fucking pulse.
I found out a friend is back in inpatient rehab, and it got me thinking a lot about acceptance. Especially what my life would look like today if I hadn’t accepted my alcoholism and been willing to change only one thing…everything.
Thursday night I had this quiet but insistent feeling that something wasn’t right with my sweet little Pussy Galore. She was getting older and hadn’t been doing well for a while, but I had been ignoring it to avoid the heartache. By Friday afternoon, her breathing was worse than usual, and instead of continuing to ignore it or bargain with reality, I took her to the vet before the weekend. I came home alone.
Knowing her quality of life wasn’t good and believing she’s now running around pain-free with the other fur babies we’ve sent over the rainbow bridge, has helped me grieve without being swallowed by it. I cried, but not destructively. A year ago, I probably would’ve said “fuck it” and drank. Instead, I used my life toolkit and kept my emotional sobriety intact. That alone feels like a miracle.
I also volunteered myself, and my poor roommate, to help plan the New Year’s Eve party our home group is hosting. I feel a tiny twinge of guilt. Tiny. He’s good at what he’s working on, and I already see this becoming a tradition for the group of us planning the party. Something we can take pride in and look forward to year after year. So yeah. Maybe I’m selfish and shouldn’t volunteer other people, but whatever.
Yesterday I got to celebrate the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world. We were sitting in a bar, eating lunch, surrounded by alcohol and I had zero desire to drink. One of the many small, quiet miracles of this program. “So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there.”
Another gift of sobriety is the relationships I’ve rebuilt or built entirely new. They’re interdependent now, not the codependent messes I used to cling to. Sometimes I like to think my alcoholism did some good, but then I remember the truth. It wasn’t the alcoholism. It was the acceptance of it, and the desperation that opened the door to this way of life.
My best friend’s niece is my daughter’s best friend. Depending on the day, she’s also her big sister, mentor, or work boss. Watching their relationship grow is beautiful. I see the same thing they have reflected in my friendship with her aunt. Our families are woven together in a way that feels solid and earned. I’m so grateful I got to celebrate her birthday with all three of them.
Acceptance didn’t make life painless, but it made it livable.
Emotional sobriety doesn’t happen by accident. It requires painstaking daily work. Checking in with my Higher Power throughout the day, reading daily devotionals, journaling to process feelings, working with other alcoholics, being of service, and engaging in fellowship. Each of these practices reinforces perspective, keeps me grounded, and reminds me that I’m not alone. Talking to my higher power helps me navigate emotions without turning to alcohol. Daily readings and journaling allow me to see patterns, recognize growth, and release resentments. Serving others and connecting with fellow alcoholics builds community, accountability, and a sense of purpose. All of it together strengthens my emotional sobriety, giving me the tools to respond to life with clarity, patience, and grace instead of reaction and regret.
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