08.28.25
Dinner tonight filled my black heart. Sitting with these women who feel like family reminded me how time can both stand still and race ahead — we can go months without seeing each other, but when we come back together, it feels like home.
At the end of the night, one of them shared something a friend had sent her.
What the father wound feels like in a woman’s body and life:
- She doesn’t trust the masculine to protect her
- She performs to feel worthy of love
- She overfunctions, overgives, overproves
- She fears being too much and not enough
- She craves praise, yet doubts compliments
- She chooses emotionally unavailable men
- She mistakes chaos for chemistry
- She feels safest when in control
- She apologizes for having needs
- She becomes the “strong one” because no one ever showed up
- She aches for devotion, but settling for attention
- She thinks she has to earn being chosen
- She calls independence empowerment but it’s really armor
- She equates being desired with being loved – and seeks safety through seduction
- She flirts, performs, or overexposes – not to manipulate, but to feel seen
- She confuses sexual chemistry with emotional intimacy
- She’s starving for masculine presence – but doesn’t trust it when it arrives
Hearing her read this out loud felt like she was reading from a book I didn’t know I had written. It stirred grief, but also a strange comfort — the reminder that I’m not alone in this. These wounds are not just mine; they’re carried by so many women, often unspoken.
I don’t know who else needs to hear it, but I know someone does!
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