09.25.25
Today was a good day at work, even though a new assignment is giving me some anxiety. I have to send out an industry announcement for my department, but instead of doing it in a bulletin, my boss wants it to be in video format. Me? On video? Fuck me running. I get why—short videos grab attention, and no one wants to read another boring announcement—but still, it feels so outside my comfort zone.
I’ve decided on my plan: tomorrow I’ll create a script from the pretty, safe bulletin I already drafted. Monday, I’ll make the video. That’s the only procrastination I’m allowing myself. It reminds me a lot of recovery—sometimes I don’t get to choose the easier, softer way. I have to take the action in front of me, even if it makes me uncomfortable, and trust that my Higher Power’s got the outcome.
Tonight’s meeting was great. The topic was habits, and what I took from it was “God’s will, not mine.” That hits home with where I’m at right now. My habit is wanting to control everything and stick to what feels safe and familiar. But recovery teaches me new habits—like pausing, praying, and letting go of the outcome.
I’ve also learned to set my day up in a way that makes it easier to stay aligned with my Higher Power’s will. Doing my daily readings in the morning, taking a few minutes to meditate, and sitting down to journal all help me feel closer to my Higher Power throughout the day. Those habits don’t just give me peace in the moment—they make me more willing to face challenges with faith instead of fear.
I also got to see a friend I had made a bracelet for, and when I gave it to her, she cried. She’d had a rough day, and I got to make it a little better. That moment felt like God’s will, too—me being in the right place, at the right time, offering love in a small way. It made my heart happy.
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