11.9.25
I kinda forgot I was chairing the women’s meeting until my calendar reminder went off yesterday. There were a lot of women, and I really enjoyed it. Sharing when I got my chip about how much their love and support means to me felt good. The fellowship in AA, especially among the women I truly look up to, means the world to me. I’m grateful to every single one of them, even the newcomers I’ve just met. Every woman in that room plays a part in my sobriety. It’s a powerful sisterhood.
Then I got myself a present. I love presents! I’ve been looking for a 9mm, and my niece sold me her raspberry Ruger LC9. Beautiful, perfect. I named her Feisty because she’s got a little kick to her. And now that I’m not a fucking drunk, I feel comfortable handling a pistol and taking shooting lessons. Imagine that…weird.
I tidied up the house a bit and decided I’d go to my homegroup meeting tonight too. Might as well get the chips out of the way while I’m sharing. Speaking in front of people makes me nervous. Yeah…that probably made my HP laugh, because when I got there, I was asked to be the 10-minute Sunday Speaker. Of course! I’d love to! Neither of those things were what was really going through my head. But a friend bluntly reminded me that I couldn’t fuck it up. I’ve already lived it. I think that’s what I needed to hear. LOL
So I shared the short version of my story. Hopefully it made sense. I have no problem baring my soul to friends in a casual setting, but put me at a podium in front of strangers, even when friends are there, and I want to run for the hills. I’ll consider it an effort to get comfortable outside my comfort zone.
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