Humanness

4.3.25

I didn’t have anything particular to write about this morning until I read the Daily Reflection on Accepting Our Humanness. I just had this conversation with my roommate! Except he called it Maybe I Am An Asshole. You are by the way, but you’re funny and also one of my favorite humans ever.

The words that resonated with me the most were “Why is it that the alcohol is so unwilling to accept responsibility? I used to drink because of the things that other people did to me…What did I have to do with all of the different matters? When I simply accepted that I had part in them…”

It’s easy to be a victim and not accept any responsibility for my actions. It sets off the rapid and miserable cycle of wallowing and self-pity, reminiscent of a hamster wheel. You’re going 100 mph but not going anywhere at the same time. Once I stepped back and reflected on the situation with a clear and sober mind, from an unbiased perspective, I could disentangle myself from the hamster wheel and start moving forward. Then I could accept responsibility for my part in the situation and that is freedom. It feels like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. There are many of these unresolved situations in my past, and I am starting one by one with the ones that still hurt the most. Progress, not perfection.