1.4.25
At my age, I don’t expect to make lots of new friends. Not because I don’t welcome or want new friendships, but because life and routine have settled in, and I don’t find myself in situations very often where I don’t already know most everyone around me. Until I went to rehab surrounded by complete strangers and no one that I knew, then it’s go time!
Don’t misunderstand, I love my ‘old’ friends that I’ve known most of over half my life, if not longer. I still talk to them and spend as much time with them as schedules allow. Some drink, some smoke pot, some don’t do either. I’ve learned so far that I’m not triggered or bothered by either going on around me, probably because I limit my socializing to small groups. When I came home, I told my friends that I didn’t expect or want them to walk on eggshells around me. I know that they love me and want me to be comfortable around them, but my addiction is not theirs, I would never ask anyone to change their habits for me, and if I’m uncomfortable I should leave. It’s not realistic to think that I can avoid being around alcohol forever. And let’s face it, I don’t need to go out of my way to find a trigger, even cleaning the house or doing laundry is a trigger because everything I did included alcohol. I’ve had conversations with several of my friends about my decision to go to rehab and how it caused them to evaluate their drinking habits. Some significantly reduced the amount of alcohol they drink, and a few even decided to take a break from drinking altogether. I’m really happy for them and love hearing about how much healthier and energetic they are, and how clear minded they feel. I have stopped trying to understand how anyone can be a casual or social drinker, much like I am sure they don’t understand why I can’t stop after just a few drinks. Ironically since I’ve been sober and home when we talk about the stupidest, craziest, and funniest things we’ve done, we realize that we were actually sober. It’s a little frightening that we’re just insane but comforting to know that everything we’ve done hasn’t centered around alcohol.
My ‘new’ friends that I’ve made through rehab or AA I haven’t known for very long but the bonds we have were created during such a vulnerable transition in our lives that it seems like we have known each other for a long time. Most of are complete opposites that probably would never have met, much less needed or depended on each other, if it wasn’t for our shared addiction and reaching out for help at the same time. The diversity brings a ton of insightful perspectives and advice to the situations we share in meetings.
I feel like I’ve won the friendship lottery with all of the love and support from old and new friends!
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