2.9.25
The first time someone in rehab reminded me that life outside the walls of our safe place was going on without us I had to stop and think. Everything is all about me, how could it be possible for everyone else to carry on? What a cynical asshole! The cynical asshole is just a realist, no one has pushed pause for everyone else, not even slow motion.
Life also keeps lifing whether I’m drunk as fuck or sober as fuck. The difference when I’m sober is I get to choose how to respond with a clear mind instead of reacting like a child who’s not getting her way. Don’t get me wrong, I still occasionally enjoy a good temper tantrum as much as the next girl when circumstances call for it.
While most people were enjoying game day food and watching the Superbowl I was doing my best to stop a kitchen flood that subsequently caused a flood in the basement through the floor/ceiling, and then cleaning it up. The plumbers spent a few hours here troubleshooting the problem and left just as baffled as I am. We get some more quality time today.
I did freak out and scream outside on the deck for a few minutes. Then I came back inside to handle the situation like a boss bitch. Bring it life! Please keep lifing me so I can continue proving to myself that I can handle it.
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