12.06.25
Hi Mom, kidding, I know there are a few other people who will read this. Switching posting from daily to weekly has been an adjustment. Not writing here every day felt off at first, like I’d forgotten to do something important, but the space has been good for me. The daily check-ins had started drifting from “I get to” into “I have to” and that’s a guaranteed way for me to start resenting something that used to help me. A year of anything daily can do that. Weekly feels more sustainable, and I already appreciate it more.
The extra space also forced me to get honest with myself and with my HP. The truth is, I’d been white-knuckling my routine and calling it “discipline.” Letting my HP steer is slow, quiet work, about as thrilling as watching paint dry, but I can tell something is shifting under the surface. I don’t need to micromanage every inch of my own life for progress to happen.
The same thing happened with my service positions. They had started to slip into that “have to” territory too. That’s why I shook up my commitments. For 2026, I’m the Sunday women’s meeting ‘church’ secretary, I’m chairing the Monday Meridian Night Group, and I’ve got the 2026 GSRU secretary role. Those feel like “get to” again. Real service, real purpose. So I’m stepped away from my alumni service position. Not because I don’t care, but because I want to show up with willingness, not obligation. I’ll still attend, still share, but my main service belongs in AA for now.
This week-ish also came with more loss than I was ready for. Kendall’s boyfriend, Dylan, lost his granddad the day before Thanksgiving. And my mom’s best friend, Heather, passed on December 2nd after her long fight with cancer. Heavy hits, close together. It’s hard not to ask “why.” My sponsor says “why” isn’t a spiritual question, and I get the reasoning, “why” tries to drag me backwards towards the past and self-centeredness. Why wants control. The instinct doesn’t make me broken, just human.
The questions that actually move me forward are “what is the next right action?” and “how do I walk through this?” Those are the ones that lead to acceptance and solution instead of spiraling.
So yeah, same me…new rhythm, adjusted service, a tough week, and a clearer head. Switching to weekly hasn’t just changed how often I write, it’s changing how I process things. Slower, steadier, and intentional. Even if the progress feels quiet, it’s still progress.
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