Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • 90 Days!

    2.6.25 Last night was a little rough. I’m not sure why, but my addict mind was hyper-focusing on the past and what I’d lost, so I cried under my new 500-pound blanket. I heard the best advice a few years ago; my feelings are my feelings, and I’m allowed to feel them without any validation…

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  • Out Of My Head, Into My Bed

    2.5.25 I sleep in the living room most nights, on purpose. Not because I fall asleep on accident and definitely not because I pass out anymore. I make my little bed that reminds me of a fort in one of the recliners, with my blankets and a pillow, set my alarm, and cuddle in for…

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  • Fahlo

    2.4.25 A friend recently gave me a Fahlo giraffe bracelet. I’m so obsessed with these now I am giddy like a school-girl bitch headed to prom! The proceeds go to protect wildlife and with each bracelet, you get a code to track your very own animal in the wild on their app. Idol is a…

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  • Once An Addict, Always An Addict

    2.3.25 My addiction to alcohol consumed my entire life. Everything revolved around it. As busy as my life is now with being conscious of my disease and treating it, I still feel like I have so much more free time. Or maybe I just have a lot more energy to do productive things now that…

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