Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • The Outside Still Terrifies Me

    10.02.25 I worked from home today because I feel scattered, tense, and anxious about this weekend trip. It’s just a four-hour drive to my brother’s house. Just. And yet I can’t stop spiraling. It’s been years since I’ve gone anywhere. Back when I was drinking, I would make excuses—“I have to take care of the

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  • Mirror, Mirror, Fuck You

    09.30.25 Typical end of the month at work today. It was long, tested my patience, and wore me out—but I don’t owe any amends tonight, and that’s a miracle. I enjoy deep conversations. They push me, challenge me, and leave me with questions I carry long after. Last night I had a light conversation that

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  • Daily Spiritual Workout

    09.29.25 For me, sobriety has to come first. If I don’t put it above everything else, I know I’ll lose it all. I’ve never liked the phrase “spiritually fit” because it feels like there’s no room left to grow. I don’t want to just maintain — I want to keep growing and improving. My sobriety

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  • Strength in Women

    09.28.25 Today felt like the perfect Sunday when I picture peace and connection to head into my work week. The women’s meeting this morning was packed, and the energy in the room was kinetic. We had an excellent speaker step in last minute, and she shared with such honesty and strength. It makes me so

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