Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Fear to Faith

    09.25.25 Today was a good day at work, even though a new assignment is giving me some anxiety. I have to send out an industry announcement for my department, but instead of doing it in a bulletin, my boss wants it to be in video format. Me? On video? Fuck me running. I get why—short

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  • Backpack Full of Resentment

    09.24.25 Today was busy, but good. Lots of meetings, plus long overdue coffee with a friend, and a session with Lady J. I treated myself to Thai food for lunch, and I didn’t mind one bit that I had to eat it while sitting on a Zoom call. Definitely worth it. I swore I’d wait

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  • Committee Secretary – 2026 Roundup

    09.23.25 I almost skipped the Gem State Roundup 2026 Committee Planning meeting tonight. I was tired, but I went anyway, and I’m glad I did. Sitting in the meeting, I was reminded how much I wanted to be part of this convention in some capacity. I wasn’t sure what role would make sense until the

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  • Powerless and Broken

    09.22.25 The question “What changed?” has been nagging me lately. I had to take Step One before I even knew what AA was. I thought it was a religious cult. For so long, I was angry that I couldn’t control my drinking. Angry that I couldn’t hang on to the feeling alcohol gave me —

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