Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Once An Addict, Always An Addict
2.3.25 My addiction to alcohol consumed my entire life. Everything revolved around it. As busy as my life is now with being conscious of my disease and treating it, I still feel like I have so much more free time. Or maybe I just have a lot more energy to do productive things now that…
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Cleaning House
2.3.25 I can’t say that I enjoy cleaning toilets or scrubbing floors but the feeling when I get to sit down after and relax in a freshly cleaned and fresh-smelling house is priceless, very serene. It also reduces my anxiety when things are neat and tidy. I have always been a homebody; my home is…
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SAFB Inspiration
2.1.25 Inspire – To cause something to happen or be created; to breathe in, inhale, and bring in the new air; to exert an investigation and exalting influence upon a person. When I first started journaling in rehab it helped me sort through my emotions and feelings that had been suppressed for so many years…
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Water You
1.31.25 Fucking technology. The older I get, the less and less I know or care about it. My homework from Lady J yesterday is to go back to my notebook and trusty #2 for journaling. Handwriting activates a different part of the brain than typing does. It also allows my emotions and feelings to flow…