Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Happy Easter!

    4.20.25 Sometimes, plans go to hell in an Easter basket. I woke up at 4 a.m. to get ready for the busy day. Instead, I felt like my guts were being wrung out like a dirty washcloth. I cancelled breakfast plans, took some medicine, and made up a bed on the couch for a nap.…

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  • Focus

    4.18.25 I’m going to sit on my soapbox for a few minutes. When I started my recovery, I only went to co-ed meetings because I was intimidated by women. I was terrified of walking into a room full of judgmental bitches and expected high school mean girl mentality. When I finally found the courage to…

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  • Resentment And Fear

    4.17.25 Lots of talk about resentment and fear this week has my head spinning. Chris Stapleton’s song Broken Halos keeps playing over and over again in my head. I want to kick him in the shins and run away quickly. Resentments from my past have been creeping in, making it clear I have a lot…

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  • DR – Anger: A Dubious Luxury

    4.16.25 As a newcomer to AA it’s not uncommon that I need to look up words from the big book. I mean, it was written a long time ago. When I read the daily reflection this morning, I had to look up dubious luxury. I was confused because it doesn’t sound that bad. Grouch –…

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