Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Spring
2.28.25 To say the last six months have been long is an understatement. It feels like a lifetime since my downward spiral picked up the pace and quickly hit rock bottom. There have been so many emotions to feel and express. The first couple of months were full of pain and despair. I was hopeless.…
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Rule 62
2.27.25 “Don’t Take Yourself So Damn Seriously.” I try to practice humility and make light of most situations. Laughter is good for the soul, and I constantly amaze myself by the ridiculous things I do. Someone is bound to witness them, so I might as well beat them to it and see the humor instead…
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Character Defects
2.26.25 Getting to know myself is not always easy. There are wonderful parts of the journey, but I can’t ignore the difficult and painful parts either. I dislike the word ‘defects’. My definition is “wrong, bad, unchangeable, something to feel shame or guilt about”. I looked up the definition in the dictionary this morning and…
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When In Doubt
2.25.25 Tonight is the last Tuesday of the month when we read from 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Reading step ten these parts really resonated with me. “We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none.” and “When in doubt we can always…