Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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I Survived Another Day of Absolutely Nothing
7.24.25 My mind and body have been on the go nonstop the last couple of weeks, and today they made it clear—it was time to slow down. After work, I felt like I could’ve crawled into bed for the night right then and there. But I knew if I did, I’d be wide awake by
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As Willing as the Dying
7.23.25 One of the many things I love about AA is that everyone—or at least most everyone—understands just how hard it is to stay sober. Not just every day, but sometimes every damn minute. People are compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic when someone relapses. Whether it’s been a day, a week, a month, a year, or
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Part of Something Bigger
7.22.25 Much like my career, AA is full of diversity. Its membership includes people from all backgrounds, beliefs, and walks of life—each unique in their own way. When dealing with others, I have to remember to always place principles before personalities. Just because I may not agree with someone—or even like their hair or smug
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After the Amends: Now What the Fuck?
7.21.25 “What’s next? Where do we go from here?” After making amends to someone on my list, they asked me these questions. And the only thing I could honestly say was — I have no fucking idea. That used to terrify me. Not knowing felt like failure, like being out of control. But recovery has