Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Fuel for the Next Mile
8.7.25 Tomorrow I hit nine months sober. Nine fucking months. Tonight is Friday eve, Friday Night Lights eve, and the eve of celebrating this milestone with my alumni friends. Tomorrow night we’ll have our meeting and then head to Sonic for our monthly shake night. Saturday I’ll be at the Gem State Round Up—AA and
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Fucking Feelings
8.6.25 Since my last session with Lady J, I’ve been doing what she suggested — sitting with my feelings instead of running from them. It sounded so simple when she said it. But in practice, it has been anything but. After finishing my first set of Twelve Steps, I expected a sense of closure or
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Daydreaming About Purpose and Naps
8.5.25 It’s only August 5th, and I’m already praying for the month to be over. Life feels heavy—there’s so much on my mind, and a quiet, lingering grief that seems to follow me everywhere. I’ve been talking to my higher power a lot, trying to understand what I’m supposed to be learning from all of
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Quiet Battles
8.4.25 Today was a full day — I went into the office and got to see my coworkers, and then went to a meeting tonight and spent time with friends in recovery. After the meeting, I visited for a bit, and that made me happy too. It felt good to be around people, to feel