Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Sunshine And Rainbows
2.10.25 We’ve all heard the saying ‘sunshine and rainbows’, but never had I ever heard ‘blowjobs and rainbows’ until recently. And now I can’t stop saying it! After work tonight, I washed, dried, and folded all the sopping wet towels and blankets I used to wipe up the floors. I was thinking about how nice
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Life Goes On
2.9.25 The first time someone in rehab reminded me that life outside the walls of our safe place was going on without us I had to stop and think. Everything is all about me, how could it be possible for everyone else to carry on? What a cynical asshole! The cynical asshole is just a
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Finish The Day
2.8.25 I finished my blah day yesterday. I did not finish it strong, but I finished it sober. I easily could have poured a few drinks last night to make it more entertaining and numb myself. I easily could have thrown away all of the blood, sweat, and tears it took me to get through
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Blah
2.7.25 The last couple of days I have felt pretty blah. I don’t know if the weather is a contributing factor, but several of my friends have said it has been making them feel depressed. Nothing particularly eventful happened at work but I am ready for the week to be over. One. More. Day. I

