Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Character Defects

    2.26.25 Getting to know myself is not always easy. There are wonderful parts of the journey, but I can’t ignore the difficult and painful parts either. I dislike the word ‘defects’. My definition is “wrong, bad, unchangeable, something to feel shame or guilt about”. I looked up the definition in the dictionary this morning and…

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  • When In Doubt

    2.25.25 Tonight is the last Tuesday of the month when we read from 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Reading step ten these parts really resonated with me. “We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none.” and “When in doubt we can always…

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  • Sobriety Time Of The Month

    2.24.25 I’m starting to think my sobriety has a menstrual cycle. The past couple of days have definitely been its time of the month. I’ve decided to throw chocolate at it, give it TLC, and allow extra grace to get through the emotional whirlwind and back to normal. Whatever the fuck normal is. My car…

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  • Car Trouble

    2.23.25 I was up at 4am this morning for absolutely no reason. After reading and journaling I decided to take a nap. When I woke up again at 8am I felt great, and it was time to get things done. After a quick trip to Winco, I started chili in the crock pot, made apricot…

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