Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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We’re All Messy Sometimes
11.21.25 Today beat the hell out of me. Every little thing felt like sandpaper on my nerves, and by the time the day was over I was done with humanity. The only thing I wanted was a meeting. Just to sit in a room where I don’t have to pretend I’m fine. Sometimes just being
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That’s My Kid?
11.20.25 I prayed hard this morning for the willingness to let go and hand it over. Not exactly my natural instinct, but I’m trying. Then Kendall called, and I could hear the disappointment in her voice before she even got the words out. Her work trip to Oklahoma was cancelled because of the EHV-1 and
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Another 24
11.19.25 Today felt like one of those middle-of-the-road recovery days. Nothing dramatic, nothing earth-shattering, just me doing the next right thing and trying to stay steady. That’s a win. I’ve got this mix of excitement and nerves about Kendall’s work trip to Oklahoma for the Futurity Championships. With the EHV-1 and EHV-4 outbreaks in Texas
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Rebel Child
11.18.25 This morning’s Daily Reflection hit me like it had been written with my name scribbled across the top. “Occasionally…we are seized with a rebellion so sickening that we simply won’t pray. When these things happen we should not think too ill of ourselves. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing