Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Don’t Judge Me
11.13.25 I know we’re “not supposed to judge others,” and I’ve gotten a lot less judgmental since getting humbled by admitting I’m an alcoholic and walking into AA. The rooms are full of people I never would’ve had compassion for before, yet somehow, through this fucked up mutual disease we share, I’ve formed a bond
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Self-Neglect Semi
11.12.25 Did anyone get the license plate number of the semi that ran me over? Wow. I could feel the sickness creeping up for about a week, coming and going in waves, but by Sunday after the meeting, I got completely steamrolled. It’s been strange working from home all week, not going to meetings, not
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Infatuation and Love
11.11.25 One of my readings this morning resonated deep in my soul. It compared surrender and acceptance to infatuation and love. That metaphor made perfect sense to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl, or maybe because I’m a romantic at heart, even though I like to pretend like that part of me doesn’t exist
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Neutral Zone
11.10.25 Today was one of those neutral days. Nothing bad happened, but nothing exactly lit me up either. I love my sober Mondays, usually. They feel clean and fresh, like a weekly reset button. But this morning? I wanted absolutely no part of it. Getting out of bed felt like negotiating with a toddler, and