Poison

1.17.25

“Imagine being bitten by a snake, and instead of focusing on healing from the poison,

you chase the snake to understand why it bit you and to prove that you didn’t deserve it.”

Whether I am sober or in active addiction life will go on. Good and bad things will continue to happen and the only thing I can control is how I choose to react. My actions and attitude determine the outcome. What I learn from the situation, how I treat myself, and my mental health. The choice is mine to make.

I can choose to torment myself, wallowing in self-pity and denial, letting my thoughts consume me with narcissism. On a mission to prove to everyone, mostly myself, that I didn’t deserve to have ‘this’ happen to me. Why do people feel we deserve all of the good things that happen to us but none of the bad things that happen to us? Wake up self, you dumb bitch. You’ve caused enough pain and harm to others that you deserve whatever shit sandwich life has just served up on a silver platter.

Or I can choose to be resilient and take charge. Keep a positive attitude, focus on healing, and push through the situation so that I can move on to a better one. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger comes to mind. Even in the worst situation imaginable, there has to be something good to come from it. Take all my energy and put it to good use instead of bad. Put some sprinkles on that shit sandwich and eat it with a knife and fork like a fucking lady.

I am strong and can handle anything life throws at me. I can’t worry about the past or the future, only the present and making it the best it can possibly be. I’ll take another 24 hours of sobriety.