6.11.25
I’m not going to apologize for being angry yesterday. I’m allowed to feel what I feel. I don’t owe anyone an amends for simply having an emotion—especially when I stayed sober, acknowledged my anger for what it was, and didn’t lash out. That’s progress. That’s emotional sobriety in action.
Today was a good day. I got a lot done at work and even came home and started cleaning the house. There’s still this part of me that wants to make up for all the time I lost when I was drunk and unmotivated. Like if I just do enough, I can erase all the wasted years.
But I talked to a friend today who reminded me that it’s not possible to make up for lost time. I can’t go back and relive it. I can only live today. That really hit me. I’m trying so hard to make everything right that I forget I am making it right—just by being present and taking care of myself and my responsibilities.
So tonight, I decided to stop at 9:30. No more trying to prove anything. Just sitting here and letting myself relax for the rest of the evening. I’ve done enough for today. I am enough today.
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