10.03.25
I made it! This morning my anxiety was gone, and after some appointments I drove all by myself without any issues. Like a big girl. The trip was uneventful in the best way, and I even finished a book on Audible for my book club. When I got here, I felt a little guilt about not visiting my brother and his family at their house sooner, but I didn’t let those feelings weigh me down. Instead, I’ve been making the most of being here with them, fully present for the visit—and that means so much to me.
I’m excited for tomorrow. My mom is already here. My dad is driving in from Reno, I’ll get to watch my niece’s soccer game, and we already picked up supplies to make s’mores. I also talked to Kendall, who’s having a great time working at the horse show. Even through her exhaustion, I could hear the excitement in her voice and knew she was learning so much.
Days like today make me especially grateful for my sobriety and my program. AA and sobriety give me so much more than just the absence of alcohol—they give me freedom from fear and paralysis, tools to quiet the anxiety that used to rule me, and a framework for living with honesty and gratitude. They remind me that I’m not alone, that I can lean on others, and that I can take life one day at a time without being overwhelmed. Most importantly, they’ve given me the gift of presence. Instead of numbing out or hiding away, I get to show up. I get to connect. I get to be part of the small moments—drives, conversations, soccer games, s’mores—that make a life.
Because of sobriety, I’m not a spectator anymore. I’m in the game.
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