09.14.25
I think I beat this sickness with vitamins, tea, and a ridiculous amount of sleep. I honestly haven’t slept that much since I was drinking and hungover. The dreams sucked though—too damn real, too damn weird. At least I didn’t join the exclusive and elite cannibal cult in one of them, so that’s something.
Got all the bedding washed, even the spare room. That feels like its own accomplishment, like I cleared some of the heaviness out with it. My emotions feel steadier now. The train’s back on its tracks. It helped to just let myself cry, not bottle it, just let it come out. Scribbled random notes, tried to put things on paper so they don’t sit and rot in my head.
Lady J and I talked about goals—short term, long term. Honestly, I can’t even picture long term. Right now it’s one day at a time. That’s all I can handle, and that’s okay. In 2, 5, 10 years? No idea. All I know is I want to stay sober. I want to keep rebuilding the trust I burned down and be someone who shows up better, stronger, different. That’s it. That’s enough for today.
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