Spring

2.28.25

To say the last six months have been long is an understatement. It feels like a lifetime since my downward spiral picked up the pace and quickly hit rock bottom. There have been so many emotions to feel and express. The first couple of months were full of pain and despair. I was hopeless. I was suffering emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If it weren’t for the people who love me giving me an ultimatum, I don’t know what my life would be like today.

Hibernation is probably not the correct word because I have left my house more times since being discharged from rehab almost four months ago than I had in an entire year before admitting myself. Anyway, there was no better time of the year than the dreary, cold weather that seemed to last forever to hibernate inside and focus on my recovery.

Watching Mother Nature prepare for spring is exciting. The weather is warming up, and the ground is thawing. I feel like a tree the dead branches have been pruned from and is preparing to blossom into a better version. A stronger, healthier, more vibrant version. I am in no way saying I think I’m ‘fixed’ or recovered but I am ready for the new season and continuing my journey with the sun shining on my face.

I want to find new hobbies and do things I used to enjoy. Like fishing! I bought my fishing license for this year and organized my tackle box. I have made plans to visit my parents in Nevada for Easter weekend. Isolation and severe anxiety caused by alcoholism have kept me from doing things I love and traveling over the last few years. I have a small zoo that makes it hard to leave home overnight without a lot of planning, but I regret not trying to make more of an effort. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I just didn’t have the desire to try. I’m grateful for my sobriety giving me the energy, will, and courage to plan these things.