Still Crazy, Still Growing

7.16.25

I tried to convince myself I didn’t need counseling anymore. I told myself that AA meetings, a solid relationship with my sponsor, step work, and fellowship with others in recovery would be enough. And while those things are incredibly important—and have kept me grounded in so many ways—they’re not the whole picture for me. I was dead wrong to think I could drop therapy altogether.

I met with Lady J today, and I didn’t realize how much I’d missed her until I sat down in that chair. There’s something about her presence, her wisdom, that just cuts through the noise in my head. I think I had started taking her guidance for granted. I forgot how powerful it is to have someone on the outside—who isn’t emotionally entangled in my story—help me see things clearly.

She holds me accountable. She helps me set goals, break down the mess in my mind, and make space to reflect without spiraling. She’s empathetic to my emotions, but she also gently reminds me of the science—the way my brain and body are wired to react to stress, fear, grief, and shame. It’s not just in my head; it’s also in my biology. And somehow, that reminder makes me feel less broken.

I realized today that healing doesn’t mean I no longer need support. It means I’m strong enough to admit when I do. And I still need her. I still need the space she creates for me to be honest and messy and real. And I’m finally okay with that.

I don’t need to “graduate” from therapy to prove that I’m doing well. Progress isn’t linear, and recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all. Right now, it includes Lady J—and that’s more than okay. That’s what growth looks like for me.