11.20.25
I prayed hard this morning for the willingness to let go and hand it over. Not exactly my natural instinct, but I’m trying. Then Kendall called, and I could hear the disappointment in her voice before she even got the words out. Her work trip to Oklahoma was cancelled because of the EHV-1 and EHV-4 breakout.
It broke my heart for her, but damn if she didn’t handle it with more grace than I ever had at her age. She actually gets that what’s meant to be, will be, that protecting the horses matters more than a big opportunity, and that more chances will come. Meanwhile, when I was her age, I was a walking tornado of bad decisions and hurt feelings.
In a way some of the chaos I dragged her through ended up giving her this weird, hard-won wisdom. She shouldn’t have had to earn it the way she did, but she’s strong and grounded in a way I absolutely wasn’t. I’m proud of her in that quiet, gut-level way that sneaks up on you.
I still grabbed our dinners and went to hang with her and Dylan before my meeting. My life is good because I’m sober. Because I do the damn work. Because I keep trying to live by the principles of this program instead of my old instincts. Days and nights like tonight are a priceless reward.
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