4.5.25
I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I’ve always wanted to be a leader, on top, in charge, looked to for answers, superior. Does anyone wake up and think ‘average sounds good’? We’re taught from a young age to be competitive, to win, be the best of the best. It’s not always a bad thing, but in my case, it led to destructive behavior when I constantly felt like I was failing.
When I started my recovery, I could not understand why these people were so fucking nice and welcoming. It had to be fake! I didn’t feel like I was being judged or looked down on. When I heard the readings about wanting what they had it was a no brainer – give me the magic fucking pill NOW.
Over time I’ve come to understand why this program has been so successful when it’s worked correctly. There’s no magic pill. There is a lot of hard work to have what they/we have but there is also lots of love, motivation, and support. There is no judgment because whatever awful things you’ve done, I guarantee there is at least one other person that has done the same thing.
The atmosphere and energy in the rooms have a way of erasing my competitive nature and habits, leaving only a desire to be part of the herd with my peers. I want to encourage and support everyone in their recovery journey, as they do for me. It feels amazing to be genuinely happy for others and myself.
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