6.23.25
Tonight, I was scrolling through the book of faces and came across a post in the alumni group that bothered me. An alumi was reminding others to be kind and not judge—apparently in response to a private message one of her friends received after posting event pictures. The message was allegedly cruel and accusatory. It triggered so many thoughts.
What the hell was in those pictures to spark that kind of response? What’s the dynamic between these two alumni? Was this message truly unprovoked, or is there more to the story? And why did the person posting this reminder feel the need to publicly spotlight the situation? Wasn’t that just adding fuel to the fire?
But here’s the real kicker—why the fuck is this bothering me so much?
Two things stand out:
- Social media is a public arena. If you put something out there, you open the door to praise and criticism. That doesn’t excuse cruelty, but it does mean you can’t expect a bubble of safety around every post. Sometimes you have to take the hit, brush it off, and move on.
- Pointing out the sender was an alumi—what’s the point? Just because someone went through treatment doesn’t mean they automatically operate from a place of compassion or maturity. Sure, we hope it gives people tools for empathy. But plenty of people go through rehab without doing the work after. Having a shared experience doesn’t guarantee shared values.
Not every alumi is actively working a program. Not every alumi is emotionally safe. That’s the reality. Maybe I wish it weren’t. Maybe what’s bothering me most is how easily that hope—that we’re all in this together—can be shattered.
P.S. Feel free to criticize this. My cold, dead, black heart and soul can take it. 😉
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