Trapped in the Snow Globe: Learning to Move Anyway

7.1.25

My goal is to finish the 12 Steps by the end of the year. As I start the 9th Step at the beginning of July, I know I can accomplish this. There’s still a lot of work ahead, but I’m determined. I also know that the hard work doesn’t stop once I’m “done”—if anything, that’s when a new phase begins. But I really do love the journey through the Steps, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like life keeps moving for everyone else while I’m stuck in place. It’s like I’m trapped inside a timeless snow globe, watching everyone else out there living, achieving, progressing. I’m happy for them—truly happy—but also, fuck them. That’s the honest part of it.

I guess it’s healthy to feel jealousy, envy, and even bitterness sometimes, as long as I keep my actions in check and work through the feelings instead of denying them. It’s just so frustrating to feel left behind.

Thank God my sister-in-law knows exactly when I need her. We talked tonight, and it turns out she’s been feeling a little bit the same way. It helps so much to be reminded that I’m never alone, even when it feels like I am.

One day at a time. One Step at a time. And no matter how stuck I feel, I’m still moving forward.