6.9.25
My Higher Power has a way of balancing things out for me—especially when I slow down and really pay attention to what’s right in front of me. I’m beginning Step Six, and it’s already turning out to be more eye-opening than I expected. When I’m completely honest with myself, recognizing and listing my character defects can sting a little. It’s not meant to be deflating, but it feels that way at times. These are parts of me I’ve carried for so long that they’ve started to feel like old friends, or even armor.
There’s a strange sadness in letting them go. It’s like being a little kid, holding onto a bunch of trinkets I’ve gathered over the years—each one tied to a moment, a feeling, a way of surviving. And now I’m standing here, knowing that giving them up makes sense, that there’s a bigger prize waiting… but still, it’s hard. Letting go is hard.
The balance, though, comes from my book club. We’ve been reading about self-compassion, and that’s been grounding me while I do this emotional excavation. I’m learning how to hold myself gently while still being accountable. That feels like a gift—one I wouldn’t have known how to accept before.
Today was a good day. Work is busy, but not in a way that overwhelms me. I’m in the process of revising department job aids and updating policies and procedures. It feels good to take what I’ve learned in my courses and actually apply it. There’s something satisfying about making things better—cleaner, clearer—for the people I work with. It reminds me that progress isn’t just emotional or spiritual. It’s practical, too.
I’m growing. Slowly, surely, honestly. And I’m grateful.
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