12.22.24
Don’t get me wrong, lazy Sundays are great. I’m just feeling ‘meh’ today. It’s strange not having a huge list of things to do but I can also tell that my mind and body need some rest, so I’ve tidied up the house and raked leaves. Fact: leaves do not disappear on their own no matter how long you stare at them. I’ve tried.
When I have time on days like today, I get inside my head and end up thinking about all the woulda, coulda, shoulda feelings. Letting things rent space in my head that have there is no room for. If it weren’t for this disease where in my life would I be today? What could I have accomplished? What should I have done to be there today instead of here today? That’s a really depressing rabbit hole to go down so instead I’m going to focus on and embrace the positive. I am sober today, I can help someone today, I will think of something that I am grateful for.
I am grateful for my pups. I have 3 large dogs that constantly keep me entertained. They are the reason I say ‘What the Fuck’ at least 5 times a day, but they also make me laugh out loud and put a smile on my face. They know on days like today that I need love and snuggles, which they are always more than happy to provide. When I was in rehab I questioned if I was a suitable dog owner and if I would be able to take care of them knowing that every day was going to require a lot of work adjusting to my new way of life and staying sober. I am so glad that I am a stubborn person and kicked that thought out of my head! I could not imagine my life without them, they are a huge part of my support system. Thank you, King, Queenie, and Cricket, for keeping me grounded.
Leave a Reply