Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Fuck the Holidays

    12.14.24 I’ve never been a fan of the holiday season. My love language is acts of kindness so I would much rather show my love throughout the year than overdo it during the holidays. The over commercialization tends to lead to depression and guilt because it’s never enough. Never enough presents, never enough time, the…

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  • Back to Work

    12.13.24 I am lucky to have an amazing support system at work with those I have shared my story with and even those who aren’t quite sure what I have been going through recently. As part of my recovery plan, I am going to the office instead of working from home isolated from everyone. Thanks…

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  • Poems

    12.12.24 I Am I am my own worst enemy I am the only one who can save me from myself I am strong I am courageous I am resilient I am beautifully broken Reborn Wilted, weathered, and worn Tormented and exhausted from the years of abuse, neglect, lies, and self-destruction Plagued by addiction The mind,…

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  • The Love of My Life

    12.11.24 When I think about my daughter, I can’t help but smile because my heart is overwhelmed with love. She has all of my positive attributes and somehow none of the negative. She is everything good in me and so much more. She is strong, brave, loyal, caring, kind, resilient, passionate, nurturing, fierce, compassionate, and…

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