Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • Dark Skies

    10.25.25 I had to check the clock three times when I woke up this morning because it was so dark outside. The rain was coming down hard, and everything felt gray and still. Idaho winters sneak up like that. One day it’s crisp and bright, and the next it’s dark before dinner and raining when

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  • Meetings

    10.24.25 People ask me sometimes why I go to so many meetings. I don’t really know how to explain it in a way that makes sense to someone who hasn’t lived this way of life, but the truth is that it’s what I need. It’s part of my program and part of what keeps me

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  • A New Spark of Purpose

    10.23.25 There’s a lot on my mind today. For the first time in a while, it feels like my thoughts are spinning in a good way. Not from anxiety or restlessness, but from excitement and possibility. I’ve been thinking about an idea for a new website, something that could truly be of service to others

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  • Prayer

    10.22.25 When I feel that desperation and loneliness that nothing else can fill, I need to pray. This morning, when I prayed, I cried. Sometimes my emotions hit me so hard I don’t even know what to do with them. They come in waves of sadness, fear, frustration, exhaustion, and I can’t seem to find

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