Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Suck It Up, Buttercup
10.21.25 I realized tonight that I needed to have a conversation with myself about my mood. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been cranky and irritable, telling myself that if things would just get back to “normal,” I’d start to feel better. But the truth is, there is no such thing as normal. Life
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Restlessness Can Fuck Off
10.20.25 I’ve been frustrated with myself all day for not accomplishing anything. If I’m honest, I’m not even sure what it is I wanted to accomplish. I’ve just felt restless and irritated, like something inside me won’t settle. It’s uncomfortable not knowing why. The Big Book describes this feeling perfectly…restless, irritable, and discontented. It says
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Low Key Sunday
10.19.25 Yesterday, I got to spend time with my daughter. We finished the shadow box picture frames with keepsakes to remember her horses. It felt meaningful, like we were holding onto pieces of time that matter, and I got to be fully present with her. I also organized and cleaned the garage and got the
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Gratitude in Focus
10.18.25 I was like a kid in a candy store last night when I got to the alumni meeting and saw a cute little photo setup with a hay bale and pumpkins. Lucky for me, my friend — who happens to be a photographer and cinematographer — was there too, so naturally, we had a