Hello World!

Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller

My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.

I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.

So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.

May you be sober and happy always! Ci

  • When the Numb Runs Out

    10.17.25 For so long, I hid behind a fog. Alcohol, drugs, distractions, anything to keep the feelings at bay. Pain, shame, fear, loneliness, and even happiness felt too heavy, too sharp, too dangerous. I thought that if I could just escape long enough, I’d survive. Now, the numb is gone. And everything I tried to

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  • Ism

    10.16.25 Today was a busy day at work, and the meeting tonight hit right where I needed it to. It reminded me that no matter how packed my day gets, I have to start with the basics. When I don’t, I feel it. The unease, that low hum of discontent that follows me around. It’s

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  • Nostalgia

    10.15.25 I feel nostalgic today. I’ve been trying to convince myself it’s not self-pity, but even if there’s a pinch of that mixed in, I think I need to let it be. Sit in it. Absorb it. I miss moments of time from the past. Times I can’t go back to, and I’m okay with

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  • Work Like the Devil

    10.14.25 This week already feels long. There’s a lot going on at work, and while I love it because it keeps me busy, I’m also feeling pretty exhausted. I’m looking forward to the weekend when I can recharge and relax. I met with my sponsor today, and we read together. A friend asked what we

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