Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Poems
12.12.24 I Am I am my own worst enemy I am the only one who can save me from myself I am strong I am courageous I am resilient I am beautifully broken Reborn Wilted, weathered, and worn Tormented and exhausted from the years of abuse, neglect, lies, and self-destruction Plagued by addiction The mind,…
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The Love of My Life
12.11.24 When I think about my daughter, I can’t help but smile because my heart is overwhelmed with love. She has all of my positive attributes and somehow none of the negative. She is everything good in me and so much more. She is strong, brave, loyal, caring, kind, resilient, passionate, nurturing, fierce, compassionate, and…
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Let’s Leave The Past In The Past
12.10.24 When you stop using alcohol to suppress and bury emotions, they have a way of bubbling to the surface all at once. It’s a lot to handle and today I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my past as a whole and what it means to me. I know that soon a time…
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Through Their Eyes
12.9.24 Our progressive assignment in rehab was to use the skills and tools throughout the four weeks of one-on-one counseling, group counseling, classes, psychiatric appointments, and meetings to create a Recovery Plan to help us once we left rehab. It was encouraged to have a family meeting at the end of rehab with family and/or…