Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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Scared but Willing
08.31.25 I’ve been feeling this growing urge lately — the quiet nudge that it’s time to help someone else. I’ve been given so much in recovery, freely and without condition, and it feels like a natural next step to pass that along. This morning’s topic in the meeting was sponsorship, and I couldn’t help but
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Struggle Bus
08.30.25 I had such a nice, relaxing day today. I picked up my new phone, which means I’m officially locked out of work email until Tuesday when IT can help me. Damn. Guess I’ll just have to survive without it. I took a nap, watched a movie, and let myself rest without the hangover. By
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Magic Fucking Wand
08.29.25 I needed a break today. Work and life have felt so heavy lately, so I took a long lunch and got a pedicure—the polish was just a bonus, I was there for the chance to sit in that massage chair for an hour. Letting the rollers dig into my back while my brain mercifully
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Certified Daddy Issues
08.28.25 Dinner tonight filled my black heart. Sitting with these women who feel like family reminded me how time can both stand still and race ahead — we can go months without seeing each other, but when we come back together, it feels like home. At the end of the night, one of them shared
