Hello World!
Tough times don’t last, tough people do. – Robert Schuller
My name is Ciana ‘Ci’, and I am an alcoholic. I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my life. As a teenager I experimented with drugs and alcohol but was always able to stop using drugs without any significant withdrawals or impact. Alcohol on the other hand, was not so easy.
I’ve maintained sobriety in the past for long periods of time but always given in to ‘one drink’. For those of us suffering from addiction you know that one drink is too many, and one more is never enough. I wanted this time to be different, I needed this time to be different, because no matter how much I lied to myself and tried to lie to everyone else, I could see the effects in every aspect of my life.
So, I went to rehab! I started journaling as part of my daily routine in rehab. I kept thinking about something I heard there that really resonated with me. I watched a recording of Brene Brown who said, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” I don’t know if this blog will become someone else’s survival guide or just my journal to reflect back on later, I will be stronger for it either way.
May you be sober and happy always! Ci
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The Edge
09.18.25 Today felt like a normal day until 4:30. A text from a friend—back to rehab. Suddenly the puzzle of why they stood me up weeks ago was solved. A reminder that it’s not always about me. My emotions pulled in different directions—sadness for their struggle, guilt wondering if I could’ve done more, but also…
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Program First
09.17.25 This morning I slipped into a familiar trap. I told myself I’d just respond to one work email before starting my routine. Just one. But one led to another, and before I knew it, three hours had passed. I was still in pajamas, hadn’t brushed my teeth, and most importantly, hadn’t done the things…
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Steady is Good
09.16.25 Not much happened today, and that’s not a bad thing. Work was good, smooth, nothing overly stressful. I’ll take that. My sponsor and I ended up talking more than reading, but honestly that was probably what I needed anyway. Sometimes just talking about life feels more helpful than going line by line through the…
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Humility Is the Brake
09.15.25 Tonight at the meeting the random topic was ego. I’ve been making a habit of pulling up the Big Book on my phone during meetings and searching the topic, so I can share something connected to a solution from the book instead of just my own rambling. I like doing it — it grounds…